Live Blogging – Top 12 Results Show

March 6, 2008

Just got off the phone with DC Vodkalips. We’ve settled into a good rythm; pounding cocktails left and right. Good grief, how else are we suppose to deal with that atrocity of a hat that Paula’s wearing. At least she’s not giving Simon a hand job…yet.

Anyway, Ryan’s has announced that he and Lionel talked this afternoon and that he loved David Cook’s performance of Hello. We’re shocked? No! David’s into the top 12. Wait…here’s a shocker…David Archuleta is IN. HOT DAMN! My dread boi made it.

In so far…

David Cook
David Archuleta
Jason Castro

Commercials are over; another cocktail in hand. Of course in my house it’s never quite that simple. My 9 year old has decided to practice soccer and is using the staircase to really pound it out which has freaked his dog the hell out and DAMN! I just spilled my cocktail!

Oh sh*t, DC Vodkalips is calling and wants to chat about what a total mess Kady Malloy is. She’s out…thank dogs-n-cats forever! According the Ms. Vodkalips, Kady’s tits look like an Irish scrubwoman’s. And with that pronouncement, she’s off for another cocktail (me too).

Joining the “in” crowd

Brooke White
Sayesha Mercado

We’re back! Cocktail refreshed! Screamed at the dog and the boy…typical…they’ve ignored me. Thank Buddha Idol loves me still. WooHoo…there really is an Allah…stipper boi’s in! So’s Michael Johns. That leaves three…oh wait, there goes Luke…cool, that means it comes down to Danny and Chikezie. Don’t know who to root for there…I mean, they both from SoCal. Thank God the Jitterbug is over…bleck!

And by the way, Ryan needs to stop tellin people to take a stool. As Ms. Vodkalips pointed out, it rather sounds like he’s suggesting they take a sh*t! Anyway…joining the fellows…

David Hernandez
Michael Johns

Doin the chicks now…Ramiele’s in! So’s Carly. Hot Damn! Amanda’s in. Oh Damn! We’re down to Asia’h and Kristy Lee. Oh great…typical Ryan…callin out a commercial. Off to refill the cocktail…

Ramiele Malubay
Carly Smithson
Amanda Overmyer

Paula’s blathering on about some somethin…what? Oh Lord…she believes in both of them…oh wow…Simon says Asia’h’s goin home…but who’s out…Asia’h is OUT…WOAH!!

Rounding out our top 12 girls

Kristy Lee Cook

I know I’m a little bit Drunk Paula right now, but damn, I’m gonna miss me some Asia’h – weird ass spelling and all. I mean hell, she managed to purrrform right after her dad died…shouldn’t that be worth somethin? I demand a recount! Oh wait…we ain’t in Florida and she ain’t Bush! So hmmmm…I’m onna miss ya girl!

Danny and Chikezie up now.  Danny cryin like a little biatch…no shocker there (just to be fair, I am too…least I ain’t on national TV).  OH MY F’ING GOSH…we sent Danny home?  And kept Chikezie…bleck!!!  I know I bagged on Danny but you know, I got kinda fond of that little flamer.  Big kisses!!  Ya did good.

So there ya have it…our top 12 includes a one namer…

Chikezie

TMTH…I’m outta here!


Top 8 Boys

March 5, 2008

Last night was hands down the best overall in terms of performance this season. In fact, I think it’s the best top 24 performance, overall, that we’ve had in the history of AI. It was just simply that good. It was also really helpful that, for the most part, the songs performed last night were hot when I was in high school. They were songs I totally LOVED then and still do. So, who did I like? Well, the following three stood out and I tried to vote for each of them. I could NOT because the lines were busy for all three…for like the full two hours.

David Hernandez – And no, not just because he use to be a stripper for a “mostly male” audience. On the contrary, in my opinion that’s just damn helpful. He’s got a great voice, and the visuals of him singing, while performing a strip tease…well, just priceless. I didn’t think his performance last night was as strong as what he did last week, but it was still right up there. Of course, on the news last night was a segment about the developing “scandal”…big woo! So he use to strip. So he tended bar shirtless in a gay club. That’s news? I can think of at least one acquaintance who did pretty much the same, went on to be in the show Survivor and has parlayed that little bit of notoriety into a gig on another show (oh, and he’s just about one of the nicest guys you’ll ever, absolutely ever, meet). Just not a big deal! Of course, some people feel that anything gay should disqualify someone from having their moment in the spotlight. I don’t have words – coherent words – for those folks.

Jason Castro – Ummmm he laid down his guitar this week and damn…gave me goosebumps for miles. I absolutely love the fact that he’s a goof ball. That he couldn’t come up with a most embarrassing moment (I mean get real, a dreadlock broke off while you were on a first date…that’s funny stuff). I love the fact that interviews just throw him. I especially love the fact that all of that totally fades when he gets in front of the mic and opens his mouth. His haunting performance last night was perhaps his best of the season. It doesn’t hurt that he’s a white boy that can pull off dreads like those, and pull em off well. Or that he’s got the cutest, dorkiest smile.

David Cook – OK, seriously this one shocks the hell out of me. I have not been a fan of this guy. I’ve had issues with his hair, with his smile. With just about everything. But I’ve also been listening over the past couple of weeks. And I haven been impressed. And then last night he blew me away and then some. The arrangement of Lionel Richie’s song was first class and his performance was, in my humble opinion, the best of this season and ranked right up there with the top 5 performances from all previous seasons. That song was a big hit for Lionel Richie (who I saw not that long ago at Koi…see Simon, you aren’t the only one that randomly runs into him) and I believe will be a big hit for DC. HUGE!

My predictions for who will go home have been hit and miss this season. Which is typical for this point. I did better last week than the first. This week I truly believe that we will see Luke Menard go home. He just doesn’t have the chops most of the other guys have…plus, I still have visuals of that whole creepy “mac-down” he put on little elfin David A. last week. Just weird.

I am having a problem with who the other guy will be. I think it should be between Danny Noriega, who drives me a little bit bonkers with his “sassyness” – I mean, I get it – and Chickezie. I think this week, Danny needed something with a little more gravitas and well, he just didn’t stand out. Sorry. Even more than Danny is Chickezie…ugh. I just don’t like him. I agree with Simon 100% that he did himself no favors with his song selection this week.

So, if it were up to me, my top 6 guys would be…

David Archuleta
Jason Castro
David Cook
David Hernandez
Michael Johns
Danny Noriega*

By the way, they are listed in alpha order not in the particular order I think they should be ranked (except for Danny Noriega). Little elfin David Archuleta, I think, could quickly grow tiring. He’s almost robotic in his perfection. I’m not particularly sure he’ll be in the top 2 but he’ll certainly be in the top 4.


I’m just sayin’

February 28, 2008

Um Hi –

Normally, a results show is just a cheesy rehash of heavily peppered schmaltz. For the most part, this one was no different. Engineered crying, cloying soliloquies and druuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuunnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk Paula! It’s actually worth your sanity to skip watching and just check the internet the day after to see who got auf’d (whoops, sorry, crossed the streams…um…how about “Seacrusted”?)

Real quick –

HATE RYAN. Hated him seasons 1-5, loved him season 6, came to my senses in Season 7.

LOVE SIMON

DRUNK PAULA

But that’s not why I’m writing to you today. I’ve written before and I’ll probably say it again *channels Andy Rooney*:

“You ever notice how they sing their song better when they get voted off the island (whoops) than they did in the first damn place?”

I guess it’s because they lose the jitters and figure “Screw it” and go head on nen and sing the hell out it waaaaaay better than their previous effort.

Every once in while, hater or not, Idol puts up big TV moments, and I’m always so incredibly stoked when I see one, and bummed when I see it alone. Tonight I had a two-fold moment like that, unlike any other to date. The second girl voted out (I don’t know/care what their names are until the final 12, I know who David Archuleta is though…) genuinely was pissed and upset that she was done and started crying and said she couldn’t sing. She’s not a good enough Actor to make me believe it wasn’t real, so I bought in and WOW. She started with the help of the girls and then stepped forward and sang “Hopelessly Devoted” like she meant it. As one point during the song, you can ACTUALLY SEE HER THINKING ‘Wow, I can actually sing this song’ close her eyes and really get with her inner-Olivia. She was proud of herself after proclaiming she couldn’t go on, and I’m proud of her, but Drunkie McStraightuperson was so proud she gave her a standing ovation (for those of you who don’t know, every time Paula stands during Idol, you have to toast and take a drink, if she does a sitting touchdown you do the same, and if she does a standing touchdown, you have to down your whole drink). So, I toasted myself. But it made me feel better knowing that with the super-contrived, trashy, cornucrapia that we’re ask to endure **coughcoughthemomentoftruthcoughcough*, it’s nice to see some old-school Mom and Apple Pie wholesomeness, you know?

Of course all of that kumbaya was dashed instantly when they quick panned to Danny Noriega’s flamin’ ass crying, and in the background was Luke Menard MACKING ON LITTLE DAVID ARCHULETA! I re-wound it like, too many times to be wrong. If you have it tivo’d then I strongly suggest you re-watch armed with the power of slo-mo. WOW. They look like they’re at Charlie’s in Phoenix in the back, ankle deep in sawdust at about 12:37am on a Saturday.

Never has something so wholesome had an interjection of something so scandalous since Katie Holmes met Tom Cruise.

I’m just sayin’


Top 10 boys

February 27, 2008

What can i say, they just about ALL sucked…even my dreadlocked little guy wasn’t all that great. There were three performances (geez…just like last week), that stood out…they are…

Chikezie – good outfit, good performance. Such a damned improvement from last week that I don’t know what to say except “good job”. He’s gonna move on i think.

Hot gymnastics guy (Hernandez?) – OK…he’s hot! He admits to wearing leotards. And, he can sing! And he’s hot. Oh wait…did i say that already? who f*cking cares! He’s hot…I think I got wood.

David Archuleta – oh geezus, I suddenly realized just how f’ing old i am when little elfin David gleefully admitted that he met the Season 1 contestants and sang to them…when he was 11. WTF??? And his talking voice…too cute…let’s get real, he’s gay but damn, those little gurls just love him. I do too! Because he can blow!!!! I did wish he would have sang the first verse and I didn’t like his too perfectly crafted answer to Randy for not singing it (I only had time for one verse and verse 3 is my favorite…huh???)…but all was forgiven because damn, the boi can sing!

whose out?

Luke!
big bird (can’t think of his name sang something blue last week)

that’s it!

UPDATE 02/28/08

You’re outta here:

Alaina Whitaker
Alexandréa Lushington
Jason Yeagar
Robbie Carrico