A night to forget!

March 18, 2008

With a wee bit of sun still floating in the sky and our child straight up gone for the week, the good Farmacist, Dr. P. Haze, and I hightailed it down the hill to Tantra for a little dindin before settling in for what was billed as another exciting Beatles night over at AI. The ambiance was perfection as was the food (good gawd I love me some coconut shrimp curry). The wine wasn’t too bad either – least I think so – it’s hard to tell after polishing off a bottle and then swiping a bottle from another table that looked like it had a drop or two still in it. Weaving our way back home, we sank into our rather deevine down-stuffed sofa to breath in the colors of Idol (errrr…I think Drunk Paula may have taken over my body at this moment).

Our good friend Ms. Vodkalips called and expressed some concern as to my mental state. Seattle’s own, Chindiana, also rang but frankly, it was taking everything I had to hang on to my last thread of sobriety and so I, well truth be told, I hit the ignore button. And then the show started…

Errrrr, I think it did anyway. Maybe it was the food. Maybe it was the web of fog the good Dr. Haze prescribed. Maybe it was the wine. Or perhaps a combination of all of it. Whatever it was, I found myself bored and completely underwhelmed at those frauds we are calling finalists.

Eyes drooped almost immediately upon rocker chick Amanda taking the stage. I don’t know what she sang. I’m pretty sure it sucked. Ms. Country Thang with the fine ass[ets] sauntered onto the stage and well, sucked. Elfin boy and lyrically challenged heart-throb, David, actually managed to remember the words and put forth a strong performance. Is it just me, or is his shtick getting just a little bit old? Yes, it is!

I’d love to remember the rest of the line-up but I can’t. I’m afraid I dozed off. I do remember Simon saying that perhaps a Beatle redux wasn’t the best idea. Ya think?!

I wish I could pull some predictions from somewhere, but this feeble mind of mine just can’t seem to make sense of this luke-warm mess we’ve just witnessed. There aren’t words! I can’t even tell you who sucked worse. I think I’m going to collect the good Dr. Haze and hit the hay…

Nite y’all!

UPDATE 3/19/08

You’re outta here:

Amanda Overmyer – rocker chick extraordinare


Live Blogging – Top 12 Results Show

March 6, 2008

Just got off the phone with DC Vodkalips. We’ve settled into a good rythm; pounding cocktails left and right. Good grief, how else are we suppose to deal with that atrocity of a hat that Paula’s wearing. At least she’s not giving Simon a hand job…yet.

Anyway, Ryan’s has announced that he and Lionel talked this afternoon and that he loved David Cook’s performance of Hello. We’re shocked? No! David’s into the top 12. Wait…here’s a shocker…David Archuleta is IN. HOT DAMN! My dread boi made it.

In so far…

David Cook
David Archuleta
Jason Castro

Commercials are over; another cocktail in hand. Of course in my house it’s never quite that simple. My 9 year old has decided to practice soccer and is using the staircase to really pound it out which has freaked his dog the hell out and DAMN! I just spilled my cocktail!

Oh sh*t, DC Vodkalips is calling and wants to chat about what a total mess Kady Malloy is. She’s out…thank dogs-n-cats forever! According the Ms. Vodkalips, Kady’s tits look like an Irish scrubwoman’s. And with that pronouncement, she’s off for another cocktail (me too).

Joining the “in” crowd

Brooke White
Sayesha Mercado

We’re back! Cocktail refreshed! Screamed at the dog and the boy…typical…they’ve ignored me. Thank Buddha Idol loves me still. WooHoo…there really is an Allah…stipper boi’s in! So’s Michael Johns. That leaves three…oh wait, there goes Luke…cool, that means it comes down to Danny and Chikezie. Don’t know who to root for there…I mean, they both from SoCal. Thank God the Jitterbug is over…bleck!

And by the way, Ryan needs to stop tellin people to take a stool. As Ms. Vodkalips pointed out, it rather sounds like he’s suggesting they take a sh*t! Anyway…joining the fellows…

David Hernandez
Michael Johns

Doin the chicks now…Ramiele’s in! So’s Carly. Hot Damn! Amanda’s in. Oh Damn! We’re down to Asia’h and Kristy Lee. Oh great…typical Ryan…callin out a commercial. Off to refill the cocktail…

Ramiele Malubay
Carly Smithson
Amanda Overmyer

Paula’s blathering on about some somethin…what? Oh Lord…she believes in both of them…oh wow…Simon says Asia’h’s goin home…but who’s out…Asia’h is OUT…WOAH!!

Rounding out our top 12 girls

Kristy Lee Cook

I know I’m a little bit Drunk Paula right now, but damn, I’m gonna miss me some Asia’h – weird ass spelling and all. I mean hell, she managed to purrrform right after her dad died…shouldn’t that be worth somethin? I demand a recount! Oh wait…we ain’t in Florida and she ain’t Bush! So hmmmm…I’m onna miss ya girl!

Danny and Chikezie up now.  Danny cryin like a little biatch…no shocker there (just to be fair, I am too…least I ain’t on national TV).  OH MY F’ING GOSH…we sent Danny home?  And kept Chikezie…bleck!!!  I know I bagged on Danny but you know, I got kinda fond of that little flamer.  Big kisses!!  Ya did good.

So there ya have it…our top 12 includes a one namer…

Chikezie

TMTH…I’m outta here!


Top 8 girls

March 5, 2008

You’re as drunk as I am!  You played the game right?  Then you’re as drunk as I am!  Geezus…just how smashed was she?  At one point, she full on had her head over in Simon’s lap.  My good friend DC Vodkalips wrang to say that Paula was plastered.  Geez, if that lush knew something was wrong, then she must have been one hot mess.  Thank dogs-n-cats that she’s got a driver.  Favorite quote of the night came from Drunk Paula –

I don’t understand what’s going on here!

As mentioned in a previous post, our good friends over at Harvey’s place, TMZ, seem to have a damn spy cam over at the studio.  I’m diggin that for real.  Once again though, just like their big reveal that Danny Noriega was the best in rehearsals, we were told that Brooke was the worst.  Granted, I was pretty damn drunk by the time we got to Brooke, but I thought she pretty dang well rang that bell.  Harvey, come on…you guys always have the best info…what gives with the slippage?

It’s my opinion that the boys are just stronger this season.  However, there are a couple of the chicks that I’m diggin on.  Ok, not diggin like David Cook when he said, as reported by TMZ, that he could “do” one of them, but you know, diggin…(geezus I sound like Drunk Paula).

Let’s see if I can “bring it all together” for ya…

Amanda Overmyer – Ummmm…hell yeah!  The rocker chick is back and doin her thang!  Joan Jet eat your heart out.  Seriously though, I’ve decided that’s my theme song right now – “Hate myself for lovin you” except I ain’t talking about Amanda rather about my love life…but that’s a whole ‘nuther Oprah!

Carly Smithson – Love the accent!  Love the tats!  Love, love, love this song!  Sorry, in the midst of all my rap, hip hop, trip hop, electronica, you’ll find Ms. Celine doin’ this song.  Crazy I know!  Carly knocked it out the park!

Brooke White – Another great performance – “Love is a Battlefield” – Damn right!  She’s just a little bit too holy and wholesome for me.  Everytime I see her I think, she needs to be dirtied up…just a little.  Then she sings and, for whatever reason I really like her.  She’s like a straight version of lesbian crooner K.D. Lang.  Ok, maybe not…but sorta ya think?  Whatever?!  Point is…I like her!

So, who don’t I like?  Well, for sure I think it’s time for good ole Katy Malloy to pack her bag of weaves and voices and head back to wherever talking wigs come from.   Love her many and varied voices.  Can’t stand to hear the one that is her.  bleck!   I don’t know who the hell should go home with her though.  I mean, we could send Syesha Mercado.  She’s not bad…but…or…we could send Kristy Lee Cook, but damn, I actually really like her (red tongue and all).

My top 6

Amanda Overmyer
Asia’h Epperson
Brooke White
Carly Smithson
Kristy Lee Cook
Ramiele Malubay

You watched?  What u think?