Technical Difficulties

May 11, 2011

Due wireless connectivity issues at my little beach hut (and a neighbor’s birthday party…ok, mostly a neighbor’s birthday party), a recap of tonight’s American Idol show cannot be written…at least well.

I was able to see the portion where her holiness, our Lady of the GaGa, did some mentoring and hip moving with our final four. Unfortunately due to the technical difficulties, I can’t really talk much about the performances.

While I couldn’t watch the first part, the second, GaGa part, played out like this – Haley is A.M.A.Z.I.N.G. James is pretty good. Baby Lockthemdoors is skating right along without blazing any new or interesting trails (we still love the vibration that comes from that child) and Lauren has reached the end of her honkey-tonk road (wave good-bye Lauren!).

And with that, I’m outta here!!

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She blew it big-time!

April 2, 2009

Lawd y’all, for a moment there I thought I had indulged just a little damn much in the good Farmacist, Dr. P. Haze’s bag of goodies! I mean, what the hell was that thing “wingin” it’s way across the stage. Lawd, I felt like Big Bird had sh*t out an illegitimate turd onto the stage that was half human half…well, hell, what was it? I mean, what the hell? That child had plumb done lost her mind! I think! Again, perhaps the good Farmacist is to blame!

Now listen, too-damn-happy person from another time zone decided to state, for all to see on the damn Facebook, that Megan Joy had blown so hard we were sending her home. And wasn’t too-damn-happy person proud of herself! Yes she was! And well, who can blame her. Little Megan Joy had gotten just to weird for even the weirdest of us! But listen here kids, as annoyed with Megan Joy as I have become, I was even more annoyed when the Facebook too-damn-happy person made this announcement even BEFORE that Metrosexual of Metrosexuals had a chance to tell us who was in the bottom three! Lawd kids, I had to call over the good Farmacist just to settle my damn nerves after that brouhaha! But, I’m not bitter!

Anyway damn way, Megan Joy just got to be too much! As shockingly blunt and, some might say rude (although not me), as Simon’s little pronouncement was, we did NOT want to save this child. She had used up her usefulness the week she was sick! Ever since, we’ve just found ourselves over her!

So, let’s not talk about her today! As the good Farmacist loves to say, “why you gotta bring up old sh*t?!” Let’s talk about David Cook! We just don’t know how we feel about him any damn more! We certainly find him somewhat attractive! And we certainly remembered that we have loved his voice in the past, and maybe still do! We just did not like that little ditty he mangled and mutilated last night! So, for all intensive purposes, we could have done without him slithering and sliding across that over-indulgent stage!

But listen here kids, we figured out last night why all the gays over in boys town go silly over this Lady GaGa character! Lawd kids, that child is fierce! We like her and her weirdness and will dance our little ass off to this hotness the next time we see her advertised at one of the many gay boy dance-a-thons down the little hill from our casa! She had a damn zipper over her eye! How sick is that sh*t! Yup!! We think this child is fierce!

That’s all!