Tonight, in an effort to fill up an hour and a half, but with only five remaining sangers, each were given two performances so as to show off their vocal chops. First, a contemporary number and then a “your momma and poppa’s generation” number. Listen y’all, I’m all kinds of tired after consuming a few too many cocktails last night then having to get up in the middle of the night to deal with a sick child who couldn’t find the bathroom and thought the shiny hardwood in my living room was the perfect place to lose dinner. I woke up all kinds of hung over and pissed off and am not in a good mood even at this moment so many hours later. I said all that to say that I am in no kind of mood to tolerate anything short of greatness.
So, having got that out the way, let’s get down to the business of singing…
Closer to the Edge
This was NOT one of his better performances. What I don’t get is why the judges were slobbering all over this performance. At this moment I so wish for the straight shooting that we would get from Simon. Indulgent came to mind. A few other things came to mind. Maybe he is “in it to win it” but I didn’t get it from this performance. I know there are those of you who accuse me of being too hard on this hometown boy, but he’s been growing on me…until this performance. Blah’sville for me!
The emotional aspect of this performance was pure perfection. Yeah, maybe he didn’t “slay” it and was “pitchy in a James Durbin kinda way”, but whatever. Amazing! And then out came dumb-dumb to ask the stupid follow-up questions and just killed it. Can’t we get rid of dumb-dumb? You know, stick some body part in his mouth and shut him the hell up?!
He needed to have taken this number down about three octaves and then, maybe it might have been all right, but yeah, it didn’t work.
In theory No Air should have been Jacob’s big number of the night and this one, this one should have been straight up busted. Instead, redemption!!!
Flat on the Floor
This child straight up FINALLY brought it! Honestly y’all, for the very first time I actually felt like this little chicka didn’t give a f**** and just brought it down flat on the floor!!! BAM!
We hear this song every damn season and I’m SO over it! We ALL know it! I’m sorry, but this one fell flat for me. Also failing was tonight’s stylist. I mean seriously, who let’s a 16 year old girl come out in a see-through dress. The number was just wrong on so many levels.
First, what does Ryan know about little Scotty that the rest of us aren’t priviledged to know? Huh? I mean again with the Scotty-the-Body comment. Hmmmm… But yeah, whatevers. This kid has gotten kinda use to the big ole stage and worked it like a five dollar hooker at the rodeo! Listen this was HOT!! Talk about a performance!! Danced with the devil indeed!!!
Always on my Mind
I have to say, this one didn’t jump off at me nearly as much as I was expecting it too. I literally got goose bumps when when I heard it was this number but the delivery was not up to my expectations. My bad? Perhaps. Then again, tonight this child showed that he’s got some chops and you know, will be HUGE!!!
You and I
J-Lo just dissed the hell outta Jimmy Iovine. Good for her! This was a pretty good track. Didn’t sound much like a Lady GaGa track and didn’t sound much like a Haley track. Still, it wasn’t in the bottom of the pack so there’s that!
The House of the Rising Sun
Oh SH*T!!!!! Got me cussin straight up!!!! With out a doubt the absolute best performance of the night! Wicked! Wicked! Wicked! There ain’t no misery when this child brings it and it was brought tonight! Beotcha done got my vote!!!! I’d also like one of the Valium she took right before the show!
Miss Lusk is going home tonight! Sorry, but she reached the end of the road. I really don’t know who I would put in the bottom with Miss Lusk. Maybe little Lauren based off that second number. Really, that’s about it.
Well y’all, that’s a wrap! The cards have been dealt but the end result is up to you, the wild card in this crazy little game. Go vote crazies!