Saying goodbye to Casey

May 18, 2010

Tonight’s the night we start the long goodbye for the boy from Cool, that cool boy Goldilocks. I know. I know, y’all haven’t even voted, but y’all know who’s going home, so let’s not beat round the bush as my great-grandmother use to say before departing to her great ole plantation in the clouds. Goldilocks don’t really hold a candle to them other two. You know and I know it.

Casey
Ok it’s alright with me
Well, I don’t think there’s a better way to start off your farewell show. “Well this isn’t going great for you is it?” Simon’s a funny-ass little man ain’t he y’all?!

Daughters
In case you were wondering, Casey’s going home. He knows it. You know it. I know it. I thought it sucked. And listen, STFU Kara!! Just sayin!

Momma Sox
Come to my Window
Well say hello to my little friend…winner! Listen, this child could come to my window and croon this or any other number any damn time she wants! Momma sox waved goodbye to Casey a long-ass time ago.

Maybe I’m amazed
Oh sweet jeezis this chick rocked it. Maybe I’m amazed!!!!

Lee
Simple Man
Lawd, there weren’t nothin simple bout this man and his performance. Kara doesn’t often say anything worth listening to, but yeah, Round 1, totally goes to Lee.

Hallelelujah
Damn. Damn. Damn y’all we got us a competition. Lord this child…well the only appropriate word, “Hallelujah!” jus like they did at camp meeting when the “fire fell!” White hankey kind of night!!
Woo Hoo!

And there you have it, the first part of Casey’s farwell show. Every damn boy already knows the results. I think I’ll not even watch. I mean, we know yeah?! Well if you don’t you should!


Delusions of Grandeur

May 11, 2010

Listen, I’m tired as hell thanks to a trans-continental flight that has left me somewhat exhausted and definitely bitchy. I am not in any kind of mood to deal with that bubble-headed mic-jockey or listen to sanctimonious pricks hiding behind their coca-cola glasses and I’m for sure not in the mood to listen to musical forgery passed off as genius by four wanna be “artists.” I whole-heartedly agree with the Professor’s mother who said she has reached the “apex of ennui.”

Lee sucked! Sorry but he did!

Big Mike kinda sucked. The choir was a nice touch that didn’t really pay off. The whole freeing of the willies discussion made me ever so uncomfortable and, like Simon, so confused.

Oh yay, a duet with Lee and Momma Sox. Bigger YAY that it didn’t suck! Although whoever said it was “relevant” just dropped their pocket-book and let their “real” age pop out.

Goldilocks looked live a giant robotick dork. Couldn’t get past that weird bobbing of the head to actually listen. Major FAIL!

Momma Sox rocked one of my favorite highschool tunes. This child straight up twisted Kenny Loggins number into somethin that was in fact, relevant. This chick’s better’n all right!

And to follow that masterful performance we are given dueling musical vom. Oh hell, I can’t even watch. Y’all saw that mess that seemed like it would last ev-AHHHh. On the plus side, it was nice to finally know Ellen has loved a woman.

That’s all I got.


Rat Pack Swag

May 4, 2010

The music of Ole Blue Eyes as seen through the masterful lens of Harry Connick, Jr. Wow! That should mean an amazingly great night. Of course the first tease I saw had that Douchstress of Awful, Kara D. blathering on about Rat Pack Swagger which made me vom just a little in my throat. I’m hoping like hell that’s not a bad omen (and you know how those of us from the Big Easy believe in our omens). Well, no time to get caught up in that flight of mental idiocy. My LA Lakers are bouncing their balls all over the court in an effort to win some sort of ball handling championship and little Aaron aka “Big Mike” is on deck.

Aaron
Fly Me to the Moon
I mean, it’s hard to eff up when you got Harry on the keys. Big Ellen said “beautiful” vocals. Like that. Kara just drones on and on. Ok look, this wasn’t over-the-moon great for me, but it might’ve been enough.

Casey
Blue Skies
Already loving the look tonight. I mean drooling over the look tonight. But it ain’t about looks, how’s the sound? Oh SH*T!! Well, here’s the positive, um, um, well I loved the first and last notes. Plus, he looks H. O. T. So, you know, there’s that.

Momma Sox
Summer Wind
Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Love. Love. Love. Love. Love. I just don’t have any other…WAIT, WTF is Randy saying?! WTF are these judges smokin???

Big Mike
The Way You Look Tonight
I don’t mean to be mean but, geezus crackatoa, this guy and his performance made me want to projectile vom. Again, WTF is Randy smokin? Oh hell, can Simon bring reality? No! Dis-Gus-Ting!!

Lee
That’s Life
Oh damn, bringin out the organ…lawd y’all I’m back home in the bayou…oh hell y’all…bring out tha white hanky! This white boy just brought down tha damn house!!!! That’s life y’all!!

Now listen here y’all, I’m feelin my roots somethin feirce and still kinda groovin to the sounds of my [misspent] youth. I’m also wondering how the heck Lady GaGa and Harry Connick, Jr. gonna make one cohesive “get your ass off the stage” show.