2 plus 2 equals 16

Jeezis, does Ryan ever shut the hell up? This schtic he’s got is as corny as my great-grandmother’s false teeth after a Sunday dinner of fried chicken, mashed taters and good old-fashioned corn-on-the-cob.

After the usual drawn out drivel from teeth, the big announcement approaches. And the winner is…JOHN PARK? WTF??? They passed over the boy from Glee AND Todrick?? Again…WTF?!?!?

More results on the guys side…Lee is safe…no shocker there. Aaron…is safe. Ugh. Mullet guy is safe as well. Jermaine and Andrew down to center court. Ok, this isn’t even a contest…why make these boys sweat? We know who it is…right? Right! Buh-bye Jermaine.

Ohhh yay!! Danny Gokey, that big queen with more glasses than Imelda Marcos had shoes, will be “performing” after the break. Woopee!! OMG…he’s country? Cute drummer though. But really? My best days will not be breaking records anytime soon. Bleck. The Professor hates. I bet you do too.

Ok, girls results. By the way, teaser for the news…something happened between Ryan and the Stage Manager? Oh shocker…Lily’s safe. Paige is…safe. Didi and Michelle…hell I’d send Michelle home before Didi but it’s not by much…well, looks like I was right. C-ya Michelle.

And we’re back. That one girl’s safe. So is the winner. Siobhan is…safe…ugh…why?!?!! Oh wait a minute…Haley and Lacey. Hmmmm…I’d keep Lacey. Guess y’all agree.

And there ya have it. Your top 16!! Wait, did I just hear the stage manager screaming…holy crap! Message to Debbie…that was fun! The unemployment line in over on Figueroa. Think you better leave right now.

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3 Responses to 2 plus 2 equals 16

  1. Elroy says:

    I found this post while searching for music news. LOVES IT!

  2. Ryan SUCKS says:

    Can we replace Ryan with Paula? Pleeeeeease?

  3. grammy says:

    I love american idol; but, I do not like Ellen as a judge. Is she really the best the producers could get? Of all the many, many musical experts and fashion divas, why would you settle for someone like Ellen. Producers need to find someone who can really help the contestants. I do not have any confidence in Ellen’s musical expertise. Producers need to wise up and find a replacement before Simon leaves and the show drops off my list of favorites.

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