I’m the Prof. and this….*twothreefour*….is American Idol! I live-blogged tonight and also switched out the hard drive in my PS3. Multitasking my ass off, thank you VERY MUCH.
Anyway, after dealing with the the whole Hospital scare, we have no new information and do find out that Crystal is performing. So yay for that.
Crystal Bowersox – Wow! I loved that. The judges loved that. Simon loved that. What else do you need to know? She’s real, she’s real good, and she’s really actually like-able, a rare trifecta for Idol.
Haeley Vaughn – Is she trying to sound like Dolly Parton? Because she sounds like a lispy young drag queen. Struggled, unpleasant, and OFF KEY. FAIL.
Simon getting booed and actually being funny for once: “It’s ironic you sang ‘The Climb’ because you just fell off.” That proved snort-worthy. He’s funnier when he’s meaner. Lose the girls that boo, let Simon be mean, it’s WAY MORE entertaining and you know I’m right.
Lacey Brown – a milque-toast Pat Benetar. She’s doing high-end Karaoke and singing with a super-fake country accent. Double FAIL. For the record, I wrote that before Randy said it.
Katie Stevens – “Put cho rekids on” She, just like Lacey, is simply mimicking what she heard on the radio. Insincere, flat and boring.
Listening to Kara, I realize that we’re basically watching a very high-end Gong Show and she’s Jamie Farr. Also, the toss back to Ryan after the Judges are done assessing who then tries to get them to give actually “useful” advice, especially when trying to admonish Simon, is excruciatingly tedious. Just make with call-in/text numbers, you microphone monkey.
DiDi Benami – “Lean on me” Channeling a modern day low-rent Carly Simon, DiDi, isn’t terrible. She’s not. But, I offer that this not “America’s least terrible” and I can’t see her as an Idol.
Who put Randy in charge moving the Judges along? I want to hate it, but I love it. He’s all “I don’t know, whachuthink, E?” Then Ellen does her schtick, and then Randy tosses to Kara, but he doesn’t shut her up to move along to Simon. Hmmmm.
Michelle Delamor – First of all, she can actually sing, which is a refreshing change from the previous contestants tonight (except Crystal obviously). In other news, what the HELL is she wearing? A white Prom Dress over skinny jeans, black half-jacket and Janet gloves circa Rhythm Nation? Yeah, fashion fail. Randy loving it proves I’m right, it’s hideous. Ellen liking it also proves it’s hideous. Vera Wang liking it proves nothing. She’s almost there vocally, but not quite. She needs to stay another week or 3, though.
Lily Scott – Strikes me as a one trick pony. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a great trick…but I think I’d be annoyed at the prospect of hearing two songs in a row from her, and that’s definitely not a good sign. She’s “aight” but Crystal killed her. And Randy liking it better than Crystal proves he needs to go. Kara’s on crack, it wasn’t a “moment” it was “aight”. I LOVE SIMON for being so honest. He’s right, Crystal was stronger.
Katelyn Epperly – “The Scientist” by Coldplay. HOLY SHIT we got us a competition. Randy, again, is wrong. He’s always so wrong. I want him to go 24 hours without saying the word “Pitch”, “Pitchy” or figure out other adjectives that further explain why “something” didn’t work for him. Ellen’s wrong. Why is Ellen also wrong? What the hell? Kara “I kind of love you” wins for the stupidest comment ever in the history of American Idol, except for anything Paula ever said. That said, I miss Paula now, more than ever. Katelyn needs to stay, I got a dose of her style and it’s a scary (bad) romance love child of GaGa and Sarah McClachlan. I think when the judges go back and re-listen they’ll feel like assholes.
Paige Miles – “I Like to Color”. Trying to sing Kelly Clarkson. Right. Meh. Are you out of your mind trying to sing some Kelly? Really? I didn’t hate it, she does have a nice voice, possibly the best one, but for once, Kara got to be right. Helps that she wrote the damn song, but she is right. I was driving home from work like 3 or 4 years ago, and that song was on the radio. I was on a high coming home from the gym, all amped up from the endorphins. I sang that song so loud and proud I damn near wrecked my car. Kara’s right, you have to mean it, you weren’t feeling the guy, you shouldn’t be smiling when you tell him to take a hike.
Siobhan Magnus – I HATED her last week. A LOT. Self-administered mohawk? Pretty cute. Warm up exercise? Cute. Aretha? NOT CUTE. Wrong song. looking like a modern day Stepford Teen, screeching like an idiot. Randy loving it proves it sucked. I can’t get over that note either, Kara? Thank you Simon: “You are interesting…” I’ll give her that.
In summary, Crystal will win the entire competition.
Paige and Katelyn, nice job, you can leave the runway.