August 5, 2009

Well kids, it’s officially official! Drunk Paula will not be returning to Idol this next season. I for one don’t see the point of watching any more. I mean really, Idol without Drunk Paula is like the Captain without Tennille or Earth Wind & Fire without the Wind. It’s just not in the realm of possibility.

As we have sat glued to our twitter feed watching for word from Drunk Paula; as our big car has transported us effortlessly from our casa high in the hills above Hollywood to the various big wig offices in tinseltown, we have begun to realize that much like our failed relationship with the good Farmacist, Dr. P. Haze, all good things must come to an end. It’s not that we want them to! Heck, it’s not that we didn’t try our damnedest to make things work. But lawd kids, like Drunk Paula we are worth more than the piddly amount they have offered…aren’t we? Heck, if that pile of teeth affectionately known around here as that Metrosexual of all Metrosexuals is worth that many damn millions a year, surely Drunk Paula is worth nearly as much. And the same goes for us here at Idol Chatter! We too have a big ass mortgage on this pile we affectionately call home and don’t get us started on all the money it takes to keep the good Farmacist from slinking through the gate of our compound at the most inopportune of times or our driver satiated with enough moulah to keep from blowing that damn horn at us as if he’s in some damn hurry to be somewhere. Cash money drives the world! Greedy mens have been known to destroy it!

Stay strong Drunk Paula! Heck, we may be seeing you in the unemployment line before ya know it!