I don’t have much time! Why? I was motivated, shortly before dinner, to make lemon butter bars. They were luscious! Unfortunately! I ended up eating half the pan! Which means I’m on a sugar high and will crash soon! I am also attempting to dial in for my favorite fraud of the night while watching Hell’s Kitchen. It’s too much, really!
But really, none of you kids care about how off-balance I am at the moment. What you’d like to know is who I thought was unbalanced during the performances earlier this evening. Let me put it this way…I didn’t like two performances. I sorta liked two performances. I adored two performances.
Sir Andrew joined this evening as the “mentor” and my word, what a fellow he turned out to be. He appeared as uncomfortable with the idea as were the lovable frauds who are this year’s contestants seem to be with the whole idea of “Broadway” night. In fact, it seemed to me that he was snarky with just about every damn one of them – although in true form, he made it sound very dignified.
I too have several things to say about each of the performances. Unlike Sir Andrew, they will not be dignified or proper. They will however be true, because, as you kids know, I always do my best to present the facts as we know them completely unvarnished.
That babbling Brooke provided another wonderful excuse for us to vote her off. Again, she forgot the lyrics…and asked for a redo. Again? But she just said it was her first time for this to happen. Hmmmmm…well, I remembered otherwise and said so. And then one of Harvey’s gays guys provided excellent support to my sometimes failing memory. Listen America, if you can’t gather your balls together in a fashion that somehow resembles something adult-like and vote this fake, crying-ass bimbette off, then I’m gonna literally implode. Geebis!! “You must love me” my ass!
And speaking of adult-like, my boy Jason Castro made a disastrous decision to sing “Memories” from the show Cats. What? Let’s skip everything that would be obvious about why this was not a good song for him and get right to the heart of it – weed! Yes, I said it. There should be a warning label on the sides of the prescription bottles that the good Farmacist hands out to his patients that says something to the effect that decision making skills may be somewhat impaired when under the influence. I mean get real, how else do you explain this song choice? I can’t! I won’t! He sucked!
Elfin boy David was pleasant! Nothing more to say! Sayesha brought the house down, but has rather religiously been in the bottom three and had seriously unfortunate positioning tonight what with being stuck in the number one time slot. Will the curse continue? Who knows! Perhaps so though because in the end, like David, it was pleasant and…forgettable!
Perhaps it was the sugar, but I liked tatted rocker chick Carly tonight…alot! I think Sir Andrew landed square on her problem when he highlighted her incredibly poor song selection. Thankfully she actually listened to his suggestion and went with “Jesus Christ Superstar”…yeah!! She looked good! She sounded good! And hell, Simon “loved” her (this week)! On a side note, once again I felt myself getting hot flashes when the camera panned her overly tatted huzband – be still my beating heart!
The best performance of the night, hands down, was [of course] David Cook. When did this boy become such a god? I mean, damn, he’s from Blue Springs Missouri (or misery, depending on who you ask), rocks in a local dive and has done…musical theater…WTF? Well damn, it showed! Love him, mean it! Yee Haw!
Ok kids, the damn sugar has worn off and I’m crashing rather quicker than I care to admit to myself. Will be lucky if I make it to that warm cloud of a bed I share with the good Farmacist. Shutting out lights…must.find.bed!
UPDATE – 4/23/08
You’re outta here –
Frankly, I don’t know what to say. The last several weeks have seen one shocking turn after another. I mean, we send Michael Johns home and then we send Carly Smithson home. WTF?!?! Seriously, I don’t mean to be rude, but somebody needs to quit voting because somebody tears up or they feel bad because somebody screwed the song up. Hell, y’all know I love me some Jason Castro, and would let him strum me like his geetar all day long, but he shoulda gone before ole Irish Eyes. Frankly, Sayesha and Carly had one of their best nights EVAH and were in the bottom two. Jason, whom I love more than my luggage, and that babbling Brooke should have been in the bottom two. I don’t know what lap that bobble-headed Brooke has been bouncing in, but apparently it’s paying off. And, if I’m being honest, and we know I always am, I’m just a little bit PISSED OFF!